What is “unplanned”, or “involuntary childlessness”?
I am referring to the situation where a woman has a very strong desire to have children, but due to unforeseen circumstances, she will never be able to do so.
For example, these circumstances may include:
- commitment to a partner that does not want children
- unexpected and sudden medical diagnosis/condition
- not in a relationship
- no longer within child-bearing range
- cannot afford IVF treatments, or is not willing to start/continue IVF
How do I know if I need counselling?
In the case of involuntary childlessness, you are likely to be experiencing an internal war between the strong desire to have children and the realization that it is never going to happen. Since these two ideas are at odds with one another, it can be difficult to resolve the feelings that arise as a result. If these unresolved feelings continue unchecked for too long then other conditions such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem can develop.
In a more general sense, there are many other life situations that can impact your ability to live your best life such as divorce, loss of a loved one, panic attacks, loneliness or trauma.
I suggest that it is a very good idea to come for counselling if you feel you are endlessly stuck in a very painful place, and you are having difficulty in finding the energy to create a more thriving and meaningful life.
My situation seems really hopeless and I feel that just talking about my problems with a counsellor will not be enough to help me.
It’s true that if we did nothing but have a chat about your problems then not a lot would get done. However it is important to understand that counselling is actually a lot more than just a simple conversation about your current issues.
As a counsellor I pay close attention to the “who’s”, “what’s” and “where’s” of your story in order to find the deeper “why’s” and “how’s” behind your emotional pain.
Once we get to the hidden heart of the matter, talk turns to action. There are many practical and effective strategies I can bring in to help you improve your emotional wellbeing.
The fact that you are reading this right now is proof that there is a part of you that has faith in the possibility of healthy change. I hope you honour this voice within you and seek support.
Can I come in for other issues besides involuntary childlessness?
Absolutely. Although I offer a unique service for those adjusting to involuntary childlessness, I would be very happy to work with you if you are struggling with depression, anxiety, grief, stress, or difficult life transitions. I also cater to those who are interested in personal or spiritual growth.
Do I need a referral to make an appointment?
How long, and how often, do I need to come to counselling?
There is not a hard-and-fast rule here. At the end of each session we will schedule your next appointment based on your current situation. This could mean coming back next week, next year, or anything in between: it all depends on your stage of treatment as well as the level of support you feel you need.
Please contact me if you have any more questions or concerns.